The 2003 Darwin Award Winner:
When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a
holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did
something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried
the trigger again. This time it worked.....
And now, the honorable mentions..................................
The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance
company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a
look for himself. He tried the machine and lost his finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
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A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a
blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken
the space. Understandably, he shot her.
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After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found
that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from
Harareto beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver
went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride.
He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception
wasn't discovered for 3 days.
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An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head
wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the
injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.
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A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and
asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled
a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill
on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15.
(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?)
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A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying
a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "FREEZE,
MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A ****-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is
still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall
engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!"
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Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd
just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze,
and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole
event was caught on videotape.
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As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to
give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police
apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the
store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive
ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the
purse from."
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The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 am flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk
turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without
a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't
available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.
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A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline
from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained
for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to
a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man
admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the
best laugh he'd ever had.