Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
The 2005 winners are:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying (or building) a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
3 Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize that it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Continued...
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
LIFE IN REVERSE
I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, Start out
dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling
better every day.. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect
your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first
day. You work 40 years at increasingly easier jobs until you're young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're
generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary
school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you
become a baby, then you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with
luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters
everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.=============
dead and get it out of the way. Then you wake up in a nursing home, feeling
better every day.. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect
your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first
day. You work 40 years at increasingly easier jobs until you're young
enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, you're
generally promiscuous and you get ready for High School. You go to primary
school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you
become a baby, then you spend your last 9 months floating peacefully with
luxuries like central heating, spa room service on tap, larger quarters
everyday, and finally you finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case.=============
Monday, August 07, 2006
The Missing Dollar
Three guys get a motel room together. It's cost $30 so they each give the lady at the front desk $10. Later she realizes she overcharged, the room should have only been $25 so she sends the bellboy up with five one's to return to the men. On his way he realizes he can't evenly divide the change so he only gives each man $1 back and pockets the other $2 as a tip.
The question is if each man now only payed $9 for the room and the bellboy pocketed $2, where did the other dollar go?
The question is if each man now only payed $9 for the room and the bellboy pocketed $2, where did the other dollar go?
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
Vocabulary Spin
For those who love the philosophy of hypocrisy and ambiguity....
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor..
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Vocabulary%20spin.doc
1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor..
3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Vocabulary%20spin.doc
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